by Tanya Saxena
In today's time, opportunities favor those who embrace uncertainty and venture into new places, meeting new people and encountering unfamiliar experiences. Yet, it's natural for individuals to be guarded in these new environments, navigating interactions and surroundings with caution. From my diverse interactions in various settings, I've realized that real growth happens in these moments of discomfort. For me, the best approach in any new place has been to understand its culture, appreciate what it means to its people, and strive to learn that while preserving your core identity.
Whenever I interact with people from different walks of life, a simple yet profound question often comes to mind: "What does culture mean to them?" It's a term we use in various contexts, each time carrying a different interpretation. There may be no single correct definition, but one thing remains consistent: the ‘sense of belonging’ it evokes in anyone when they speak about their culture.
What does this ‘belongingness’ mean?
Belongingness, at its core, is about familiarity. Picture someone raised in a small town, who later moves to a bustling city for education or work. An individual who spends their entire childhood in a small town and completes their graduation from a tier-1/2 city goes through a lot of changes and their personality picks up traits or develops habits which are not found in the people residing in their native places. So, while the person can become a better version of themselves and drift apart from some of the rudimentary practices of the hometown, amidst this transformation, they will still find comfort in the practices of their upbringing. Belongingness isn't about acceptance or rejection; it's about feeling secure in one's surroundings.
Take the example of a girl who embraces her body in the city's inclusive atmosphere, only to feel the weight of societal norms when she returns to her village. She navigates between two worlds, each pulling her in different directions. She may try to change people around her in the village or practice her newly found beliefs while living in the city and conform to the culture of the village when at home but at the end of the day, both things are the ‘culture of a particular place’. It is always a struggle for individuals placed in life like this to truly appreciate who they are and to be in touch with their core selves.
I attended a modest school where education was prioritized above all else, leaving little room for activities that nurtured soft skills or empathy. From this environment, I transitioned to one of the top three law schools in India. There, I found myself surrounded by peers who had participated in Model United Nations, engaged in various debate formats and considered drinking a normal part of their school experience. Their specialized lingo often left me scrambling for my phone to look up meanings. They completed tasks before I even fully grasped the assignments, carrying themselves with a confidence that made me feel inferior. They raised their voices over the smallest inconveniences, while I had been taught to adjust and remain silent. This cultural shock was overwhelming, and I felt immense pressure. I couldn't turn to my school friends for support; they were in the same position as me. My initial coping mechanism was to resent my new peers and withdraw into myself. However, as time passed, I began to see that these students, far from home, were also seeking a sense of belonging. They formed tight-knit groups of 'metro' city kids, trying to create their own comfort zones.
My mother reminded me that hospitality is a hallmark of small-town people, and it became my bridge to them. I started sharing my home-cooked meals, and this simple act of kindness opened doors. They began to treat me as one of their own. It wasn't about selfishness but a natural human desire for comfort and connection. For me, it was about finding validation and acceptance in this new environment, and for them, it was about feeling a sense of home and security. I became their guide, helping them navigate the daily challenges of college life.
Throughout this journey, I often worried about losing my true self and drifting away from my roots. Yet, the constant fear of not growing into a better version of myself pushed me to break out of my bubble and embrace this new world. It was a delicate balance, but it taught me that growth often comes from stepping out of our comfort zones and extending a hand to others in need.
Adding to that, what one of my instructors said during the class gave a beautiful pause to this emotion. She said that while we can grow into a different version of ourselves, it's okay to hold onto aspects of our past selves. It is okay to not relate with or understand everything that the new world or new setting throws at us but what makes the journey truly enriching is the fact that we are touching upon so many different lives and people. We are surrounded by diverse individuals and it is okay to not see things the way they do but it is healthy to factor in their views and also give them the opportunity to feel our choices and circumstances in life.
This takes me to another important question to ponder:
“Do we extend the same understanding to others? Do we give others the space to be as they are? How do we perceive other people's belongingness to their culture?”
The first question to ask ourselves is: “Are we even acknowledging the fact that all of us come from such different philosophical, religious, and educational places and upbringings that even a similar situation may holistically have different cognitive interpretations?” To give people around us a fair chance to learn and unlearn is what makes us human and all of us should be given that chance to make a mistake and learn from it. Yes, we might not know what the struggles of a person from a metro city might be like or similarly for a person who has never used a metro in their life, and a simple term like ‘communication’ can also have a high degree of contextuality but it is always a good idea to take a step back, hear them out and accordingly empathize with them and not make oversimplified and erroneous assumptions. Additionally, accepting that we presumed something about someone based on the social notions we have lived in or have usually heard about is even more important because by doing that we are giving ourselves the chance to improve and become a better friend and a better colleague. Running away from mistakes is as good as committing them yet again.
Another very important takeaway was a habit we all are guilty of doing. We tend to focus too much on the negative. It has to be a conscious choice from our side to focus on what it is that we like about a particular setting and maybe then try to address what we don’t like about it. This invariably generates creative ideas to avert the problems and without us even realizing it, we can reframe these cultural distinctions into our greatest assets.
Tanya representing MeITY team at Global IndiaAI Summit 2024
As a Fellow at the International Innovation Corps (IIC), these learnings have been instrumental in fostering better relationships with my colleagues and building trust with my stakeholders. Trust is crucial - only when others trust you will you receive the right work and the necessary support. Without trust, work remains siloed, and IIC stands for teamwork. Team culture is essential and it is not a monolithic identity but a culmination of what each fellow contributes. When each fellow brings their best, the team culture naturally becomes healthier and more vibrant for everyone. Therefore, respecting where others come from, the stories they carry within themselves and refraining from knee jerk perceptions are values we can work towards emulating while navigating any new surroundings or for people who have entered our surroundings.
Tanya Saxena is a lawyer by training. She is mapped to the MeitY Project and is working on the "Safe & Trusted" pillar of the IndiaAI Mission. She has a knack for blending law, policy, and public service, all while embracing her identity as a proud citizen of this country. When she's not glued to her laptop, you'll find her exploring, capturing people in their everyday life, or engaging in a game of badminton, heritage walks, dance workshops, reading Ghalib or just freelancing to keep her creative juices flowing. And being true to her inner moviebuff, Tanya lives by a simple yet profound mantra: “Haso, Jio, Muskurao, Kal ho na ho”
